The role of the coach is to enable clients to set their own agendas and to help them find the ways or the paths that are right for them. In this journey I will introduce a new way to tink about the content and the process of coaching – a way that honors each individual while providing a enriching model of storytelling. This new way to look at coaching is certainly not the only way, but it is one that works well for me : I call this process depth coaching.

The Hero’s Journey: the context of depth coaching

Coaching as a discipline is a client-centered way of working with individuals to help them achieve their goals balance their lives and attain fulfillment. Coaching focus on client’s lifelong development rather tan the remediation of past wounds. Coach and client collaborate as partners or peers in a relationship that is symmetric rather than paternalistic.

The agenda in a coaching relationship is determined by the client, not the coach and the coaching client is considered ‘naturally whole and resourceful’ rather than dysfunctional or disordered. Coaching differs from psychotherapy, where the focus is on the treatment of personality problems, maladjustments and mental disorders. The territory of the coach is that of adult development, whereas the territory of the psychotherapist is more likely to involve the uncompleted tasks of child development. Coaching is a process of enrichment rather than repair.

I define depth coaching as an approach to coaching that focuses on unconscious mental processes as the source of emotional, physical, mental and spiritual well being, in contrast to depth psychology which views these unconscious mental processes as the source of emotional disturbance and distress. The depth coach helps people retrieve innate inner resources from the depths of the unconscious to help them deal with the challenges and transitions of adult life and find their places in the world.

To understand these complex issues of adult development, growth and change, I use the myth of the hero’sjourney as a theoretical foundation and to provide a simple map of the territory of human development.

The Stages of the Journey

The myth of the hero’s journey provides a map that shows the integration of various developmental theories and enables us to consider all of these elements as a coherent whole. The myth applies to every adult and tells the universal story of human development – the natural history of our species. Each person recapitulates the journey many times – longituinally and cyclically (within phases of our lives). Every time we leave the familiar behind, we begin a new journey. Every life transition is a potential journey.

In the myth, the hero prepares for the journey by learning to take care for himself or herself, takes the journey by fighting dragons and discovering unique treasures, and then returns to share these treasures with the kingdom. It is the story of preparation, separation and return, of dependence, independence and interdependence – the natural cycles of life.

Now the myth of the hero’s journey is not a myth in the sense that it is untrue but in the sense that myths originated as a ‘shared cultural context for communication … ways of teaching unobservalbe realities by way of observable symbols. The task of the hero is to claim one’s own life and place in the world instead of having one’s life and place in the world determined by others. It made people realize that each of us can be a hero as long as we are free to choose and capable of change.

In ….. I described the relationship of the hero’s journey and archetypal inner resources to the development of Ego, Soul and Self – the three stages of the hero’s journey. The first stage Preparation (Ego) is the time when the hero prepares to leave a state of independence and develop the inner resources necessary to go forth into the world on his or her own. The second stage, the Soul Journey (Soul) as the period when the hero discovers the gifts that constitute the true and independent self. The third stage, the Return (Self) refers to a time when the hero returns to the community to share these gifts and live with others in a state of interdependence

…. The Archetypes

In ….. I have had you work more easily with the abstract concept of archetypes by personifying the archetypes inherent in the human developmental process. I identified these archetypes as inner guides that are available to guide each hero (person) through the three stages of the journey. I named the The Dreamer, the Realist, the Warrior, the Caregiver, the Explorer, the Lover, The Rebel, the Creater, the Rebel, the Leader, the Sage, the Magician and the Jester.

These archetypes are names given to basic human resources, traits, and capabilities that are built into the biological substrate of human beings. They are ways to categorize and talk about our capacity to care for others, to stand up for and defend ourselves, to feel wonder and trust, and to experience a sense of loss (among many other things). We call on the archetypes to accomplish the fundamental tasks of human development, such as learning to trust, to be autonomous, to find our identity and our work and to live in integrity and pass on what we have learned to others. In doing this, we take the hero’s journey (metaphorically), fight our dragons (other people’s expectations for us) find our treasures and our identity, and return to share these with the community.

The archetypal resources live in each one of us and can be activated, developed, awakened, or called forth at various stages and ages of our lives. However, although archetypes are universal, innate predispositions, they will appear a litlle differently to each person because they are filtered through our culture and life experiences.

We can learn to evoke and to balance these forces only after we have acknowledged their presence. Becoming aware of archetypal forces allows us to activate these inner resources and to live intentional lives, lives that we compose and manage ourselves. When we are unaware of the archetypes, they ‘live us’ instead of our living them. Bu this i mean that when we are unaware our behavior is driven by forces that we don’t know we can control. As a result, our reactions to stimuli are unconscious and immature. Adding the archetypes to the stages of the juorney and developmental tasks, completes the map of the territory of development and change.

The archetypes are inner resources we can call on to make our ways through the terrain – to guide us on our journeys. Coaches help clients find their ways when they are lost or uncertain and also guide them to an awareness of meaning and purpose that enables them to make contributions to the world.

How to experience this journey.

A guide doesn’t guide by telling you about the journey. She helps you explore your life and get the most out of it in your own way. Read this as if you were taking your own journey. Ask yourself the questions and do the exercises as you read the body of the travel guide.

I will take you on the journey of the coach and tell you a little bit of my own journey as we go. As you read the sections on the Ego and the Soul, you will experience what it is like to prepare for and take your personal journey and become familiair with the hero’s journey vocabulary as a context for depth coaching. In the section on the Return you will integrate what you have learned about yourself into your professional journey and see how the journey guide five step process can help you organize your interactions with your clients in the coaching process.

As you take your journey, you may find it helpful to refer to the Comprehensive Map. The map integrates the archetypes with the developmental theories. I have touched upon in this introduction. If you choose to take a more intensive journey. I have included a workbook for each section of the journey at the end of the chapter. Please read the workbook even if you don’t plan to take an extensive journey right now. The exercises in the workbook can also be used in your work with your clients.

As you read this material and work with the process of the hero’s journey, you may notice some words that are unfamiliar to you or that are used in unfamiliar ways. A brief glossary is provided at the end of the guide to assist you in incorporating these new meanings into your study of depth coaching.

Now listen for the call, take the journey, awaken the archetypes, slay the dargons, find the treasures and return to your particular kingdom. Bon voyage and remember the immortal words of Yogi Berra: It ain’t over, til it is over’. The journey isn’t over until the hero returns and shares her treasures with the kingdom.

TAKING THE COACH’s JOURNEY

We can help ourselves and others prepare for the journey by revisiting the developmental tasks of childhood and balancing the archetypes of the ego. The ego archetypes are the basic building blocks of the human experience; they are our internal representation of the mother-father-child triad that appear as recurring themes in art, myth, poetry and literature. To prepare for the journey is to develop the ego strength that ultimately allows us to move from a state of dependency to a state of independence and to maintain that state as we travel on.

In psychological terms the ego is described as the component of the personality that deals with the external world and its practical demands enables us to perceive, reason, solve problems, test reality and adjust instinctual impulses at the behest of the conscous. The ego plays the important role of maintaining balance between inner impulses and outer reality. Before we set off on the journey, our first task is to review the Ego archetypes and make sure that all the necessary resources are available.

In terms of human development, it is easy to understand that before we become independent we have to establish trust, autonomy, industry and initiative. If we don’t develop these we might be forced to rely on other people and institutions for our care – or at least for a sense of who we are. People who have not developed a basic level of trust or autonomy, and therefore have what might be called exceptionally low ego strength, are more likely to be candidates for psychotherapy than for coaching. However, most people, and certainly most cients who choose a coach instead of a threapust have developed enough trust and dependence to survive and do quite well in the adult world. Even so, it is good to review the Ego archetypes and become aware of the more subtle ways in which we remain dependent on the approval or the direction of others and the damaging effects this can have on our living life to the fullest.

The major developmental tasks for the preparation

The first major developmental task for the preparation of the journey is the development of basic trust in yourself tha you wil be able to survive and care for yourelf. The second is development of autonomy – the ability to care for yourself.

Readiness for the Journey

You recognize that you aren’t fully prepared for the journey when you find yourself continually doing things so others will like you or think that you are okay. Other signs that you are unprepared for the journey may include being unable to delegate and feeling you must run your whole office by yourself, afraid to say what you think because someone might get angry, or being afraid to leave a relationship or a job for fear that you can’t make it on your own. Or you may realize that you are taking care of everyone in your family or office except yourself. None of these issues indicate character flaws or insurmountable obstacles; they merely indicate that you haven’t fully completed the developmental tasks of learning to trust in yourself and to stand up for yourself (autonomy). That is why the preparation work almost always starts with the Ego. Most of us have work to do to prepare for the deeper and more demanding elements of the journey.

As you do this ego work, it is good to let go of the negative ideas you may have heard about the ego. Don’t worry – having a well balanced ego is not being egotistical or selfish. On the journey and beyond you will continue to care about other people’s opinions and reactions and want approval. At the same time you will know that you can (and must) trust yourself to take care of yourself and handle authority in yourself and in others.

The Dreamer has trust and faith and optimism. Some of us begin our training in a helping profession as Dreamers with exceptionally high ideals and aspirations. We believe that if we work hard enough and do things right we will be able to help others and make a contribution to the world. The idea of becoming a coach or guide is especially attractive to the dreamer part of us that believes that others share our high ideals and good motives.

Complete innocence is not enough, The unbalanced Dreamer places her trust in others instead of herself and ignores and denies the facts. Do you find yourself returning again and again to the same situation, believing that this time it will be different? Do you believe people even when their actions don’t match their sincere sounding words. When that happens stop and acknowledge the Dreamer and then begin to work with facts, not faith alone.

The Dreamer is quite wonderful but cannot take the journey alone or she will end up like Little Red Riding Hood. Innocence and trust are lovely qualities that all of us would do well to cultivate. However, when innocence is not balanced by some of the Realist’s skepticism, the Warrior’s skills and the Caregiver’s concern we are apt to be overly trusting of authority figures and vulnerable to believing everything we are told. Every new scheme will look like the answer to all of life’s problems. Total Dreamers tend to workship at the foot of the guru and follow the guru’s path instead of their own.

At the extreme levels of the archetypes, the opposite of the Dreamer is the Lone Ranger. If you hang your head, allow your shoulders to droop and tell yourself nobody minds and nobody cares you will experience the archetype of the total Lone Ranger who is seriously out of balance with the other archetypal energies .

The unbalanced Lone Ranger always feels like a victim and frequently blames others when things go wrong. Often we will see him as the person who decided to become a coach hoping that the training would heal a wound. Certainly victims of abuse may need therapy and support, but ultimately we all need to learn to take care of ourselves (particularly if we want to help others), and the unbalanced Lone Ranger hasn’t learned this yet.

We all experience the Lone Ranger experience at some points in our lives. The Lone Ranger comes with the loss of innocence and is a bewildering experience.

Our Lone Ranger self is our most vulnerable part. The Dreamer and the Lone Ranger are child-like and defenseless, and as we struggle to meet all of the demands of adult life and responsibility we often ignore our Lone Rangers (our vulnerable parts) and pretend to be invulnerable. When we forget our Orphan we essentially abandon – Lone Ranger – ourselves.

Coaches can lose the ability to connect with scared and sensitive clients when they don’t know how to connect with those parts of themselves. Such coaches are likely to view displays of emotion in themselves and in others as weakness or illnes and to become authoritarian rather than compassionate. The gift of the Lone Ranger is the ability to fully experience emotional states that, in turn enable us to empathize with others. The Lone Ranger shows us how to join together with others to recognize that we are all vulnerable, flawed in some ways. The Lone Ranger enables us to give and also to receive support.

You can evoke the level of the Caregiver who cares for others by recalling positive images, experiences or memories of parents and children. For example, recall a Renaissance painting of the Madonna and Child, bring back a memory of sitting by the bedside of a child who is afraid or ill.

We become aware of our obligation for self-care when we learn to take good care of our physical bodies and fully realize that no one else can do this for us. Usually, we can activate the part of an internal parent who sees that we get enough sleep and exercise, eat properly and keep ourselves clean. Emotional care of the self, however, is far more difficult to picture and put into action.

We need our Caregiver archetype for emotional self-care whenever we are signaled or alerted by emotions of fear, sadness, guilt or shame. Without access to the internal Caregiver we look outside (to someone else) for comfort or reassurance. We seek some parental figure to make it all right. Other times we tell ourselves that there is something wrong with feeling the way we do.

The person with easy access to the Caregiver archetype will continue to want allies and support but at the same time will also be capable of looking inside herself for help. We care for ourselves by acknowlediging and experiencing our emotions, not judging them, denying them or trying to make them go away. We understand that our emotions are telling us something about ourselves, not about someone else.

The Caregiver archetype helps us to attend to the physical and emotional signals we experience. And learning self-soothing and bodily awareness enables us to do our part in maintaing the physical balance essential to our wellbeing. Self-soothing is one of the most important of life skills and is not to be confused with pampering the self. Once we learn to soothe the self with empathic self-support, we can reap the physical and emotional benefits of social support so essential to good health and recovery from illness.

The Caregiver represents our capacity to love and care for each other and ourselves. Without this most sublime of all the archetypes the species could not survive. People in helping professions call on this archetype frequently. They must learn to honor and respect the Caregiver. At the same time, professionals must always be aware that on the Caregiver’s shadow side lurks the martyr who sacraficies herself for others. In so doing she helps neither and may even prevent others from learning how to care for themselves.

Professionals who coach others can take care of their own emotions by acknowledging their emotions, being aware of what moves them and being conscious of situations that make them uncomfortable. Coaching others at a deeper level requires the capacity to diffferentiate the personal, internal emotional states of the coach from those of the clients. Professionals must remain aware that their role is not to express or care for their own emotional states, but to help clients learn to care for themselves.

We claim the Warrior to accomplish the developmental tasks of developing autonomy and industry.

The Warrior is our internal sense of authority that enables us to deal realistically with other authority figures in the world.

You know you lack the Warrior when you are afraid to stand up for yourself, when you see every boss as a tyrant who dosn’t know how to run a office, when you can’t set goals or limits and stick to them. You know you have an unbalanced Warrior when you are agressive rather than assertive, and especially when you have a strong need to be right in all things. You claim the Warrior and become autonomous by taking responsiblity for your own actions – by speaking up for yourself, setting your own limits and holding to them, and protecting yourself from intrusins from others. The Warrior knows when and how to compete and when and how to call on the Caregiver to cooperate with others.

Saying yes to the self is taking the hero’s journey. When we say yes to the self, we call on the Warrior archetype. Many of us find it difficult to say ‘no’ and coaches will often assign their clients the task of saying ‘no’several times in the next week. For some clients that exercise may not be enough; for once we have said ‘no’ we have to go deeper and call on the Warrior archetype to help us stand fast and endure the discomfort of not pleasing others.

Other people don’t always like it when we claim our authority, but the Warrior reminds us that we are responsible for our actions, not other people’s reactions. We might do well to keep this as a mantra and repeat it again and again.

BALANCING THE ARCHETYPES AND THE DEVELOPMENTAL TASKS OF THE EGO

Once the archetypes of the Ego are in balance, we realize that we can make our way in the world. We dcan give up the search for perfection and stop blaming others for our shortcomings. We know that if we want the universe to take care of us we will have to play our part. We can then begin the journey to the Soul to discover what that part will be. Awakening the archetypes of the Ego prepares us to begin the journey of individualization – a process Jung conceived of as a series of initiatory ordeals and transitions we make at various crossroads of our lives.

TAKING THE SOUL JOURNEY, FINDING YOUR CENTER

The development task of the Soul Journey is the establishment of a separate identity, which in turn enables us to be intimate with others.

The completion of the developmental tasks of the Ego, the Preparation phase of the Journey has a similar impact on all humans. We prepare for the Journey by learning how to take care of ourselves; interact in socially appropriate ways; feed clothe and protect ourselves; modulate our emotons and take care for our bodily functions the Ego is concerned with a shared reality. Once we have learned how and when to call on the archetypes of the Ego, we are ready for any number of soul journeys where we may plunge into the existential, the abstract, the inner world of the imagination, the unconscious and the surreal. Each of us experiences and emerges from this part of the Journey in a different way.

On the Soul Journey we are concerned not so much with actual life, death and survival as we are with the meaning of life and death. Where the language of the Ego is essentially a universally understood language of the body/mind, the language of the soul is myth, symbol, film, song, art, literature poetry and ritual. This language is intepreted differently by each of us as we take our separate paths to the developmental task of discovering our identities.

Soul means different things to different people. Gregg Levoy calls soul. the place of the deeper brain – intuition, feeling, sensing, instinct, dream’. Consider soul in this context aas an abstraction to be experienced rather than defined. A metaphor for Jung’s concept of the soul as an autonomous personality that structures our inner life, and is projected out into the world.

The seeker makes its presence known through restlesness. We are aware that we are looking for something, and yet not quite sure what that something is. The presence of this archetype signifies the beginning of the journey and maycome to us in the form of a call or a fall.

“no matter what stage or grade of life, the call brings up the curtain. The familiar life horizon has been outgrown; the old concepts, ideals and emotional patterns no longer fit; the time for the passing of a threshold is at hand – Joseph Campbell A Hero with a Thousand Face

Some journeys begin with the call The call is sometehing you feel you must do – a journey you feel compelled to take. We need to be certain that a call is coming from inside ourselves and not from the expectations of others. However, we often have difficulty hearing a call when the language of the heart is so different from the language of the head, and the words in the head – the interjected voices of others – are loud and well articulated. Once you are conversant with your own calls and callings and familiar with the voices of your heart, you will be able to help others hear theirs.

Not all journeys begin with a call; some journeys begin with a fall. Depression, despair and anxiety following a stressful, traumatic or unfulfilling experience can be a call to turn inward and examine the way we have been living our lives rather than symptoms of psychological disorders.

Be aware also, that a fall or a call is not always dramatic. The fall – the awakening to reality, the realization that you have been climbing a ladder against the wrong wall or counting on others for security that can come only from within – can also be experienced as a vague feeling of discontent or apathy. What is important is that these feelings must be experienced not therapied away. Within that experience we can often hear the call. The Journey begins as we allow ourselves to pay attention to and acknowledge these experiences and emotions.

You know the Explorer is calling when you feel alienated, dissatisfied, empty or when you sense a new opportunity knocking and want things to be better than they are. You can hear the Explorer when you hear an innver voice telling you that your life could be different or that you can make a difference in your family, your company or in the world. Exploring often has to do with the search for meaning. It is a spiritual quest more than a psychological or practical one. The question What do I seek? is not always easy to answer. Initially we can only allow the question itself to be the invitation to the quest. Wanting something better and uneasiness with the way things are signify a call. Being willing to acknowledge that uneasiness can be the beginning of a journey.

Answering a call or experiencing the Explorer is not a self-improvement project, we are not analyzing what is wrong and trying to fix it. Instead we seek to actualize and use all of the resources available to us. Think of how your response is different when I ask, What are you looking for? or What do you seek? Compare that to your respoonse to the question What is wrong?

I suspect that when I ask you what you seek, you go inside to answer the question and that the answer will be personal, unique and involve the future. If I ask what is wrong you are more likely to describe a history of a problem, and very often a problem whose solution lies outside of you.

Coaching the Explorer: Calls and Callings

When we hear a call or begin a quest we might begin to ask What am I being called to do? However, calls seldom specify a specific job. More often calls come in the form of a compelling need to do a certain thing, or a feeling of being drawn to certain activities such as teaching, understanding the nature of things or produce something. Only a fortunate few have a specific calling: others feel a call to investigate, to help others overcome obstacles, or to design. Following your call may lead to any number of different occupations and pursuits. Being aware of your calling can even make a present job more meaningful.

Some of us get on the wrong track in seeking a calling by focusing outside ourselves and saying what we want to be, not do. We say we want to be writers – but we don’t write. We want to be actors – but we don’t try out for any plays.

Real callings are closely related to what we love to do, or what we feel we must do, not what we want to be. If you find yourself thinking in the ‘what i want to be’ mode, ask yourself what, specifically, it is about this job or profession or course of training that is compelling to your; then look for aspects of this calling that are present in your daily life. Think of what your life would be like if you were doing more of that in your job; then, explore to discover other ways you get those needs met.

Positive projection

Although I have asked you to go inside yourselves to find your hidden treasures, there is another way to discover hidden gifts by looking at your projections. Look outward to those you admire and then search for those traits hidden in yourself. Frequently, we project out to other people those qualities we can’t recognize in ourselves. We usually consider projection a negative activity – in which we project all of our bad qualities onto other people. There are also positive projections that help us discover resources, abilities and good qualities we didn’t know we had. These positive projections can direct us to gifts and callings we have preveiously been unable to appreciate.

Remember, too, that seeking or listening to a call doesn’t always result in a change in profession or even in making personal changes that enhance your present job Seeking and hearing a call are concertned also wiht the call of the unknown, the expansion of consciousness, or breaking the bonds of the ego and the constraints of our society. Exploring begins the process of individuation where we start to discover who we truly are and find the meaning of our lives – not the meanin gof life – but the meaning of our own lives and our place in the scheme of things. Exploring begins the journey, but exploring is continuous, active and never satisfied – a beginning and a continuing, not an end.

Each of the Soul archetypes calls forth another, and once awakened these archetypes stay present in our awareness and available whenever we need them. Answering the call of the Explorer beings an intentional transition to a new phase of life, but at the soul level this isn’t necessarily connected to achievement or accomplishment. For a real transformation to take place we need to ‘die to our former selves’. We must call on the Rebel face the dragons and rid ourselves of those things that impede the journey and prevent our development as individuals.

The Explorer came forth in your yearnings and desires, as you heard the call and began the quest. Opening yourself up to the awareness of hidden desires and going forth to find the treasures can be pleasant, stimulating and exciting. Calling forth the Rebel, however, is not always so pleasant a task. Inevitably for each path taken, another path is not. You may have to let go of old habits, old friends, hopes of security and some of your dreams. You experience the Rebel when you feel pain suffering, tragedy, loss and also when you experience the libration of letting go.

DRAGONS

‘The need to take the journey is innate in the species. If we do not risk, if we play prescribed social roles instead of taking our journeys, we feel numb; we experience a sense of alienation, a void and emptiness inside. People who are discouraged form slaying dragons internalize the urge and slay themselves by delaring war on their fat, their selfishness, or some other attribute they think does not please.

Having called the call or faced the call that beings the journey we come soon face to face with obstacles that can force us to turn back before we even begin to find the treasures of our true selves. As you asked yourself the calling uestions, were you aware of nagging voices telling your that you couldn’t do what you might want to do, that it would cost too much or that it was selfish to want certain things? Some people never allow themselves to want anything because they annot bear the thought of not getting what they want; those people are not ready for the journey.

The world is full of dragons who are sometimes very difficult to distinguish from your own thoughts. You may only become aware of them when you hear an inner voice saying ‘you should’or ‘you can’t’ or find that you have a hard time admitting that you don’t know something or can’t say ‘I was wrong’. Although it seems that dragons lurk in forests all round us and the road is littered with boulders, we are often suprised to realize that both dragons and boulders, like the Wicked Witch of the West, melt when doused with the cold water of reality and confronted by the authentic voice of the self.

Battles with dragons of other peoples expectations require careful strategy, because other people’s expectations slip into our thoughts without our realizing it, and we confuse these inner voices with our own. Most often we can recognize these voices as beloning to specific others. The dragon voice may once have had a purpose but is now outdated. This voice has turned into the inner critic who tells you that you aren’t good enough, resists change, and keeps you in a rut.

We fight the battle with the dragon inside ourselves, where instead of challenging or succumbing to the authority of others we awaken our internal authority and say out loud. I will, I can or I won’t. Notice you don’t necessarily have to slay the dragon by confronting abusive parents bosses or friends. You can simply speak for yourself, announce your intentions and follow through with your own actions.

Different archetypes respond to dragons in different ways, and we are apt to respond differently at different times in our lives. What is keeping you from getting what you want. Is the obstacle really out there, or is it inside? We all have interior voices that speak to us and keep us imprisoned in the jails they built for us. Many have the voice that says, ‘Who do you think you are’? Others the one that says ‘What will people think?’.

It is easy to see, therefore that the biggest boulders and dragons are the interjected and embodied expectations of family, friends, or society. These are quite clear because they speak in plain words, saying. ‘You should have accomplished more by this time’. or ‘What is the matter with you? or Why can’t you be like other people. Do those voices help or spur on? No, they distract and discourage.

We each need to find ways to talk to dragon voices and turn them into something helpful we can call on the Rebel to eliminate these useless distractions that dimish our lives, keep us prisoners of the past, and hide our gifts and treasures.

Once we realize that the dragon is a part of us, and not an external force, we are completely in charge of the way we respond to it. We can’t slay dragons by telling ourselves not to pay attention to them or turning on ourselves and condemning ourselves for allowing them to run our lives. When we become aware of a dragon and recognize it for what it is, we can choose our actions accordingly.

Coaching the Rebel

Many coaches ask people to eliminate energy drainers in their lives – a cluttered desk, a to-do list that is ten pages long, a garage or attic filled with toys beloning to children who now have children of their own. This, of course, is a marvelous idea. Coaches will work with clients to list their specific energy drainers and then help them to find ways to elimante drainers to make room for other activities, passions and people. However, there are times when we have to go deeper and face the dragon that created the problem in the first place. Often when clients seem to be stuck or when you find yourself stuck, dragons are at work.

Other Uses of the Rebel

The Rebel helps us to see where we are on the longitudinal journey through life. If we don’t face our mortality, we can’t truly assign meaning to our lives, play our parts and use our gifts.

To many people the word Rebel has a negative connotation, but remember that all of nature and all living systems require a cleaning out: death and decay are essential parts of life. The Destroyer can also be thought of as a remover, an eliminator, or a culler. Picture your house or apartment if you never cleaned or culled out useless things or never took trash and garbage to the dump. This is what our lives are like when we don’t call on the Destroyer. Remnants of the past belong in a scrapbook to be revisited and enjoyed, or the scrap heap to be forgotten.

The Destroyer archetype helps us complete the task of establishing our own identity (individuatioin) by letting go of the false selves and masks that hide all the parts of our own personalities. Once we have accomplished that task, we are ready to find out who we really are and claim the ability to achieve intimacy. For that we call on the Lover.

THE LOVER ARCHETYPE

If you have ever fallen in love, you know how difficult it is to describe the experience. Other loves and passions are equally difficult to characterize. Love, like spirituality, is an archetypal force to be experienced, not described or explained. Sometimes in the grip of the Lover archetype, we need all of the strength of the Ego archetypes to keep us from doing things we might later regret. And, of course we don’t always succeed.

Some who have unbalanced egos often love (or think they love) those who meet only their emotional and physical needs. At other times, the Lover archetype, unbalanced by a strong ego, is easily swept away by sexual passion. A balanced person is capable of finding a soul mate and maintainting a special relationship that has to do with shared passions that include and go beyond the passions of the body.

Romantic love, mother love and agape are each strong and powerful forces that have life cycles of their own. By expressing our loves and our passions we allow the world to see us as we are. We feel the call of the Lover when we fall in love with a person, an idea, a cause, a piece of art or music or our work.

Through the Lover archetype we become aware of what moves us – in a sense, what calles to us on a deeper level. We ask ourselves what is most compelling and important in our lives and realize what we truly value, remembering that values aren’t morals, and that it is no better to value making a contribution to world peace than it is to value taking risks. (Morals are the concern of the Ego and the Self archetypes, not the Soul archetypes). What is important is that we live life in concert with our values and fully aware of our true desires. Initially, we call on the Lover archetype by simply noticing what excites or interests us – what calls forth an emotional charge, or stirs something within us.

In meeting the Lover archetype, I again make a distinction between therapy and coaching. Often people enter therapy for help with their sexual problems and speak of passion only as it relates to sex. Sexual problems are in the therapist’s territory. Depth coaches however, help clients explore all of their passions. Passions pave the road to purpose: they provide the energy fo rthe vehicle we use on the many journeys through life.

If you have difficulty identifying your passions use the language of the soul. Instead of asking people about their passions. What makes your heart sing? Immediately we are transported to a deeper level. What turns you on? What stirs your soul and brings forth the fire in the belly? For a moment, allow your passions to come to the surface. Are you passionate about ideals and ideas, liberty, justice, rights, fairness? Who are the people in your life about whom you feel passionate? Do you have a passion for art, sports, film, music, painting, literature?

Awakening the Lover archetype, discovering what it is we love and feel passionate about, enables us to follow our bliss. Awakening the Lover leads us to our bliss. The important thing is to stay tuned in to yourself: observe your daydreams and interests: spend time alone. ‘We are having experiences all the time which may on occasion render some sense of this, a little intuition of where your bliss is. Grab it. No one can tell you what it is going to be. You have to learn to recognize your own depth.

Keep in mind, however, that following your bliss doesn’t mean simply going off and doing your own thing. Bliss entails sacrifice, and being in love or being passionately committed to something involves more than pleasure and exhilaration. Ultimately, following your bliss or making a commitment calls for work and discipline words we seldom associate with the soul and makes us more aware of the need to strive for balance among the archetypes and the three stages of the journey.

Love and Forgiving Ourselves

Forgiving and letting go (combining the Lover and the Destroyer) are two of the most difficult endeavors we face, but at the same time they are the most liberating. They free us from carrying other people’s baggage and our own outgrown ideas on our journeys. Although you may choose to forgive someone face to face, the basic forgiveness workt takes place inside of you.

An essential act that brings forth the Lover archetype is that of loving ourselves. The Caregiver teaches us to take care of ourselves and others, but loving is an activity of the Soul that goes beyond self-care and carries with it the act of forgiving the self and having compassion for oneself (thereby gaining the ability to forgive and have genuine compassion for others). Now that you know that forgiving isn’t excusing, forgetting or obsolving, focus on a situation where you need to forgive yourself. Have you neglected of we ar, been selfish, careless and rude?

Coach the Lover

People aren’t always aware of their deepest passions. Different things move each of us. There is no one right thing to be moved by and very often we are unaware of passions that have been dismissed or denied by others. One way coaches can help clients is by giving feedback or asking clients to notice how they feel when they speak of something they love. We can call clients attention to a change of expression or rate of speech. and note the light that seems to go on behind their eyes. By paying close attention and being present to the client, coaches can help them awaken the Lover within.

Continuing the journey, we interweave the Explorer, Destroyer, and Lover, our calls, callings, passions and gifts to help us discern those things that support the journey and to eliminate those things that don’t. For the final strand in the design of the Soul tapestry, we call on the Creator.

The CREATOR ARCHETYPE

The part that has the ability to open the imagination and bring forth something that never before exitsted

Gifts: Creativity, identity, vocation

Ask yourself: What kind of a life do I long to create for myself personally and professionally

The goal of coaching, and of depth coaching in particular, is to help people engage in a conscious and intentional process to create their own lives and live out their own dreams. To become aware of these dreams, we harness the energy of the Creator. The Creator helps us make use of our gifts, take an active role in our evolution as person, and find our purpose in life. Daydreams, fantasies images and flashes of inspiration all call forth our creative inner resources.

Imagination and Composing a Life

The Creator helps us compose a life. Through this powerful process we bring Soul to our lives and experience what it is to feel truly alive. The Creator archetype comes into our professional lives when we create our own professional world when we find our true selves by discovering what we love and doing what we love to do. To do this requires using the soul’s greatest tool – the imagination.

Using the imagination we can envision what it is that we want for ourselves, set goals, create visions and design scenarios. Think of the many ways that creative energy flows through us. We paint, draw, sculpt, cook, design, invent weave, tell stories, and find many other ways to bring something into being that wasn’t there before. To a large extent we also have the capacity. to imagine a life for ourselves and bring that life into existence as well. Artists and musicians tell us that when they sit down to write a piece of music or create a painting, they have a general idea of what they want the end result to be. The composer says I am going to write an opera based on a story about a bullfighter or I am going to compose a piano concerto in A Minor. The artist says I am going to create a painting that expresses my horror or contempt at the very idea of war, or paint a seascape that brings to life the turmoil of a storm at sea. The creative process of composing a life is similar – first we envision what we want to accomplish. We do not want to paint-by-numbers on a canvas prepared by someone else.

Not all of us have the talent to be great creative artists, but all of us have the amazing ability to visualize something that doesn’t exist. Often we use this power in a negative way by imagining other people’s attitudes about us or by dreaming up the worst possible outcomes for situations. (Think of all the ways you use your imagination to create worrisome scenarios and invent excuses for yourself). Using negative selfhypnosis and self-fulfilling prophecies puts us in danger of calling into existence the very thing we most fear.

The good news is that if we can create bad outcomes, we can also create desired ones – as long as it is in our own power to do so and doesn’t depend on a random event. Sports coaches have known this for a long time, and many a champion athlete spends considerable time visualizing perfect form and concentrating on the desired rahter than the dreaded. Race car drivers are admonished to keep their eyes on the road, not the wall, thereby focusing on the finish line rather than potential perils. Tennis players are reminded to focus on the ball and know that when they lose their concentration and think of the worst that can happen at a crucial time they are quite capable of making it happen If mental rehearsal of desired outcomes is a successful tactic in sports training, why shouldn’t we use it in other aspects of our lives.

Coaching the Creator: Problems and Mysteries

One function of the Creator and our incredible power of visualization and imagination is the ability to change perspective, reframe the issue, or look at events in a different way. Coping researchers have known for years that people respond differently to events when they perceive those events as threats than they do when they see those same events as challenges. It is never too late to bring Soul and the Creator into your life. For example, what is your concept of aging? If, to you, all signs of aging are a threat, you will waste a lot of your time trying to prevent it or pretend it isn’t happening. If you see aging as a challenge, you will be actively involved in living your life to the fullest each day. Simply changing perspective or reframing an idea or a situation enables us to get unstuck.

Physical strengths and abilities may wane as we grow older, but our creativity is ageless. Have you ever heard of a writer, an artist, or a composer retiring? Artists live their soul’s work, and the soul is ageless. Yet, if we choose, each of us can be an artist in our own lives.

Are you apt to view life as a problem to be solved, or do you see it as a mystery to be embraced? Now is the time to see it as both. Problem solving is an intellectual and rational activity that is concerned with the shared reality of facts and the laws of mathematics and reason. Some things (like building bridges and developing vaccines) are truly problems to be solved, for they rely on the scientific method and linear relationships. Dozens of famous problems exist whose answers were found in dreams and visions, e.g. the sewing machine and the double helix. Although we can bring soul to problem solving, bringing problem solving to the soul is more difficult.

Finding Purpose

The creative process differs in each individual and needs time to incubate. The idea that we can invent ourselves and design a unique life is both exhilarating and intimidating. However, if the structure of a life is to hold up over time, then it must revolve around a purpose. In the Soul Journey or cocoon we have been discovering our gifts (treasures), our passions and our callings. Now we combine them to find our purpose.

When we live our lives on purpose we feel fulfilled. Your purpose in life is a way to use your gifts to bring forth your passion and to do so in your chosen environment.

If my gifts are teaching, creating and optimism. I am passionate about helping others to find their direction in life, and my favorite working environments are one-on-one, small groups, or alone, then my purpose might be stated as ‘to help others find direction in life by teaching, writing and coaching one-on-one or in small groups. It’s up to me to weave together my calls, my callings, my treasures and my passions to fashion alife that incorporates all of these elements and gives meaning to my Journey.

Many coaches have used their narrative energies to build coaching practices that combine a coaching practice with their other passions. Some combine coaching with sailing rock climbing, hiking, or skiing, and follow their own bliss in an environment that inspires both the coach and the client. Can you combine your passions with your purpose?

Once we have a purpose, our whole lies can revolve around purpose like the ‘wheel impelled from its own hub’. When you are working on purpose you feel fulfilled and satisfied as if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing. Remember that your purpose is intensely personal and there is no way of comparing and evaluating purposes. One person may have as a purpose the desire to investigate and find a solution to the problem of world hunger or a cure for AIDS, another to live peacefully in community to others, another to create a serene and happy home, or another to bring order to an office or an organisation.

In addition, different gods and goddesses call to us at different stages of our lives. Your purpose may change during a lifetime as you move form one developmental phase or life chapter to another – or it might stay the same throughout your life. None of this is cast in stone – life is fluid; only change is permanent.

Balancing the developmental tasks of the soul and the soul archetypes

The developmental tasks I associate with the Soul Journey are those of identity and intimacy. Awakening the Explorer, the Destoryer, the Lover and the Creator brings to the surface all the elements of an identity; we know who we are and what we love and find our purpose in the world. This sets the stage for the development of intimacy. Without a clear sense of self, intimacy is impossible because we can’t escape the need to continually please others or enlist their approval. Emotional intimacy is difficult to achieve ,and most of us have probably connected with very few people in our lives in a truly intimate manner. Even to maintain good friendships is difficult when you haven’t found the treasures of your self.

Having awakened the archetypes of the Ego and the Soul, we emerge from the cocoon and gain balance once again as we move from the Soul to the Self. Now we take a look at the world around us and determine where and how we can make a difference. The Ego archetypes helped us to look at what we needed to do to take care of ourselves and to fit into the world of others. The Soul archetypes helped us to find our unique selves and initiate the process of individuation. The Self archetypes will show us what we have to do to bring our unique and best selves into the world when we return from the journey. To make a difference we have to do something different, take some action. It is not enough to fit in, to experience, to have insight and experience transformational change. We must also ‘operate’ on the world. To do that, we turn to the archetypes of the Self.

THE RETURN OF THE COACH; SHARING OUR GIFTS WITH THE WORLD

The developmental tasks of the Return are integrity, living by one’s values and generativity, passion on one’s learning to other generations. After the Soul Journey, the hero completes the cycle by returning to the community to share his or her treasures. At the end of the Journey, we are clear about our own missions and also have new respect for the missions of others. If we do not return, the Journey has been in vain for.

The archetypes of the Self are the ultimate expression of inner balance; through them we express our inner harmony by our actions in the world. The construct of Self includes the Ego and the Soul, the conscous and the unconscious mind the shadow and all of the various personas we use to engage the world. The Self is the stage on which the actions of all the other parts are played – the big picture. It is the part of us that has the ability to unify all the others and to reflect on and think about itself.

Awakening the archetypal energies of the Return – a combination of the Ego and the Soul archetypes working together -allows us to live in a state of integrity, engage the world and share our gifts. In the Return we take the steps to put our purpose in action and make our visions visible to the rest of the world.

THE RULER ARCHETYPE

The ability to use all of our resources to take responsibility for others as well as ourselves.

Gifts: Sovereignty, responsibilitity, competence

Ask yourself: What is my professional kingdom? What is my personal kingdom?

The Ruler combines the archetypes of the Caregiver and the Warrior. When integrated, these aspects of our personalities allow us to escape the bounds of the personal ego and choose how we relate to ourselves. We choose how and with whom we relate in the world at large and in our own occupations, professions and communities in particular. The Ruler asks: what is my kingdom? What are my responsibilities to my self, my family, my partner, my extended family, my workplace, society or the world?

Let’s begin by looking at personal kingdoms. To call on your personal Ruler, picture people who are or have been the Rulers in the world: the kings, queens presidents, prime ministers dictators, warriors, peacemakers, chief excecutive officers. These people personify the Ruler archetype. How do you envision yourself in the role of the Ruler? Who best exemplifies your ruling style? Is your ruling style the same at home as it is at work? Should it be?

The Ruler in our personal lives

In the Preparation phase of the journey we learned to break the bonds of dependency. On the Soul Journey we achieved the independence that comes with an awareness of a unique identity. On the Return, however the theme is one of interdependency regulated by the Ruler or the sense of order within each of us. THink of all the systems in which you orbit – the relationshiops you have with your self, partner, children, family, work and community. What part of each of these relationships or systems is your personal kingdom? Activating the Ruler can help you determine the nature of these relationships and adjust the balance of your responsibilities to others and to yourself.

Very often we are unaware of our responsibilities and the power we have to choose to make each one of our relationships as interdependent as possible. You can be so enmeshed in each system that you lose perspective and play by other people’s rules. One way to get a better awareness of this is to use graphic representations ( diagrams, pictures, or objects) that illustrate where you stand with respect to the others in your life and then alter these positions to represent how close or how distant you would like each relationship to be.

If your relationships are not what you want them to be, you can call on your Ruler. Ask yourself. What is my kingdom with respect to each of the significant relationships in my life? And where are my personal boundaries.? Remember, too, that the boundaries and responsibilities of each personal relationship may change over time. And, although professional boundaries are often determined by legislatures and professional organisations, personal boundaries are (for the most part) determined by the people involved. Because you are one of the people involved, you can play the part you choose to play in making the changes.

Coaching the Ruler

Think of the times you try to make others change – to rule their kingdoms – when you really need to be defending or maintaining your own borders.

Some of the most difficult workplace situations arise where there is no clarity about boundaries and responsibilities where the organisation is nominally organised into teams but there are no team players and everyone plays quarterback: where lines of responsibility and accountability are poorly drawn. Imagine how it would be if you were clear about the boundaries of your relationships. Even in a workplace where you think you have little authority, you always have control over your own behavior.

What would it be like if your responsibilities were clearly defined? What would you be doing differently? What would it be like to redefine each relationship in the best possible light? What archetypal energies do you need to call on?

The Ruler and the professional life of the coach: five steps in the process

The Ruler inside of us is always on the lookout for ways to find the potential in the people we influence so that they can use their gifts in a productive way. The Ruler is equally concerned with order.

The Ruler archetype is a constellation of qualities that pertain specifically to our professional responsibilities as coaches or guides. To activate the Ruler archetype and ‘find the potential in the people we influence so that they can use their gifts in a productive way’ is to take responsibility for understanding the principles and practices of coaching and to carry them out in a professional manner.

THE SAGE ARCHETYPE

The ability to attain wisdom, to seek truth, and to tolerate ambiguity

Gifts: skepticism, wisdom, nonattachment

Ask yourself: What do I need to learn and how is learning related to wisdom?

Think of the wisest people you know (or know of) Albert Einstein, Albert Schweitzer, a beloved teacher or mentor. Do you notice that each of these people combines passion and wisdom? I consider the well balanced Sage to be a combination of the Lover and the Explorer; two archetypes of the Soul who are awakenend by learning, introspection and spiritual practices. This high level Sage is contemplative yet also provides the spark for lifelong curiosity and interest and provides the ability to approach work and life with the beginner’s mind.

When we awaken the Sage archetype, we develop detachment and the ‘observing self’ so essential to the capacity to observe self and other at the same time, – an essential component of coaching. The Sage seeks wisdom as opposed to vindication. The Sage is eternally curious and is the part of us that helps to keep an open mind. The Sage sees the big picture.

The Sage is concerned about reality and our ability to look and to listen beyond the pretenses and masks that narrow the scope of our subjective vision. On the other hand, the Sage understands that there are different kinds of reality. The Sage has to understand the various methodologies and apply them appropriately.

The developmental taks of the Retun are integrity and generativity. On a personal level, we activate the Sage when we examine our values and strive to live our lives accordingly (living with integrity) and when we share our knowledge and experience with others (generativity). The Sage reminds u s that learning is a lifelong process and that wisdom is different from knowledge. The Sage seeks to understand the underlying riddles of existence.

To evoke the Sage, learn something about a subject that interests you. Harvest your life for the lessons learned from the mistakes you have made in the past.

Values

To live by our values means that we must know what they are, and one way we can make our values clear is by harvesting our life experiences. Identifying values is not something that can be done in one session or with one exercise. We need to identify core values and then use these values as a benchmark for further decisions and actions so that we continue to live life from a core of personal purpose and value. That means not making decisions based on pleasing others or keeping the peace.

Finding Yourself Longitudinally on the Journey of life

Ask yourself: Am I at the morning afternoon, or evening of my life? What factors and developmental challengs does each age bring?

As we coach individuals and take our own journeys, it helps to keep in mind the ages and stages of life. Each age brings with it a special set of tasks and challenges. As you prepared for and participated in the Soul Journey, you learned a lot about your inner life and the timeless aspects of the Soul archetypes. Now, you can put yourself in perspective on the chronological journey through life. In recent years, the pace of life has increased so rapidly that each generation has to reexamine its views of maturity and aging. We begin by asking ourselves where we are on our personal journey through the years.

THE MAGICIAN ARCHETYPE

The ability to transform what needs to be changed by acting on our own visions

Gifts; personal power

Ask yourself: What do I need to change and how can I help others to manage?

The Magician is a combination of two powerful archetypes: the Creator and the Destroyer. When we call on this archetype we bring into being things that never before existed and let go of those things that no longer add value to our lives and the lives of others.

In our personal lives the Magician enables us to face our fears instead of denying them. We call on the Magician when we marvel at those who have dared to make their dreams come true.

The Magician embraces change, transformation and transition. Even though we might give lip service to the notion that life is a series of changes, most of us have difficulty coping with the rapidly increasing pace of change. We often need help to make the transition from one stage or chapter of life to another. A coach provides that help.

The Magician in our personal lives

In our personal lives we survey our kingdoms and ask. What do I need to change? Think back over your life and recall how you looked forward to change when you were a child. How has your attitude about change evolved over the years?

Ask yourself. What do you need to change about your self or your relationships with others that will add value to your life and to the world (or a the very least will make life less stressful)? What archetypes need balance? What are your beliefs about change? What do you need more or less of?

Do you understand how much power you have to make changes in your life? We can’t change facts, but we can always change perspectives. We can break patterns and old habits and stop beating our heads against the wall (trying to change the wall but succeeding only in damaging our heads).

The professional magician: the coach

The journey of the coach or journey guide is the journey of the Magician. Changing consciousness and awareness – awakening – is what we do. We change others by first becoming true to ourselves. We calm others by being calm ourselves and motivate others by being motivated. As coaches we also have an obligation to become familiar with the many change strategies that connect peope to their own paths and to their own powers (their archetypal forces).

The very power to name can be magic and when used with care can be a transforming force. When used carelessly, however this power can be damaging.

The unique nature of the coaching relationship calls for full knowledge of the fundamentals of change, a profound respect for the client, and a sincere belief in the client’s ability to change. If you don’t believe with all of your heart that a client is capable of change, don’t agree to work with that client.

The Magician is also trying to reveal in the ordinary world the truth of the non-ordinary dimension. A simple example of this is helping clients discover their purpose or calling. At a deeper level this may be manifesting heaven on earth – ideal forms expressed in the material world – by finding the real nobility of the clients (deeper values and special gifts) and helping them to express these in the way they live their lives.

The coach – as generalist and change agent – must also have some personal characteristics – not always required in other professions. These include intense curiosity, the ability to inspire, creativity, imagination, intuition and a passion to help others grow and learn – to help others find their own paths. Some of these characteristics can be learned, but others cannot. If you don’t have a passion, you can’t fake it. Find another profession. This is not your calling.

However, none of these warm and fuzzy attributes of the coach are important if coaching doesn’t result in the client achieving his or her goals. This is what the Return is all about, and this is what coaching is about. I can develop my Soul and my identity and find my purpose in life but I must then come down from the mountaintop and carry out my purpose. Our goal as depth coaches is to help others find themselves, take their journey, and get the results they want and for that we must be skilled in the use of the tools of the trade.

The Magician’s Magic Wands

As I stated earlier, the concepts and techniques used in coaching are related to many of the newer, outcome-oriented action and competencey based therapies that emphasize shifting contexts, systems thinking, solution orientation, and externalizing the problem.

The most important tool of the coach is the powerful question. It is the question that evolkes the archetype, changes the inner experience, and leads the client to take the action that gets him where he wants to go. The nature of the coach’s question will determine the level on which coaching takes place. In depth coaching the most useful is the powerful uestion that directs clients attention inward and forces introspective answers or observations that transform clients experience of themselves.

It is important that we don’t follow a formula, memorize questions, or ask the same questions to each client. Questions must arise from the coach’s genuine curiosity and interest in following the client’s line of thought and from listening care – fully with all five senses to the client’s answers (which will in turn lead to further questions). Coaches who follow the hero’s journey model will also consider which archetypes a particular client might need to evoke to achieve balance within each stage of the journey and then frame the question accordingly.

The task of the Magician is to find the appropriate vehicle for each client to carry him to his desired destination. Don’t use the same tools and worksheets for every client. Remember that each person has a different path and different talents and responds differently to different modalities. The task of matching each client’s learning style and finding special paths to the unconscious is what keeps this job so interesting and exciting. Use roleplay, future searches, dream work, collage making and rituals that solidify change. For journeys to the Soul, encourage meditation, journaling, artwork and any creative endeavor that suits the client. Use the exercises after each chapter. Keep in mind, however, that any of these exercises or any other homework assignments must be tailored specifically to the needs and style of each client. Ask each client to tell you what works and what doesn’t.

THE JESTER ARCHETYPE

The ability to experience and enjoy life fuly and to tell the truth with impunity.

Gifts: joy freedom, liberation

Ask yourself: What needs to be enjoyed? Where is the joy and happiness in my work? Where in my life can I tell it like it is? Who are the various parts of my personality and how do these parts interact? How can I learn to see my shadow?

The goal of the Jester is enjoyment and pleasure, yet the Jester is also the part of us who can tell it like it is, the child in the story who was the only one to notice that the emperor was naked. Where is the joy in your life? What do you truly enjoy? How do you play? Are you in touch with your senses? The Jester tells us not to take ourselves too seriously. The Jester allows us to live in the moment – to celebrate life!

The Jester opens up to possibilities, thinking out of the box, and not doing things because they have always been done a certain way. Altering perspectives is a Jester activity.

Although much of coaching has to do with the pull of the future in contrast to psychotherapy’s focus on the past, the Jester archetype is the part that keeps us in the present and enables us to live each day to the fullest. The Jester allows us to play full out, to give it all we’ve got, right here and right now. When the Jester is dominant in our lives we explore the world out of innate curiosity, creating for the simple joy of creation, and living life for its own sake without thought of tomorrow and with little or no concern with convention, traditional morality, or what the neighbors will say. The Jester knows how to be here now. Obviously the Jester needs the balance of the other Self archetypes, or today will be great but tomorrow will be bleak.

Ask yourself. How is the Jester active in yor life? Where do you find joy? How do you play? Think of a time when you were completely present in the moment – right here and now. Are you able to live each day to the fullest (or at least one or two days a week)? We call on the Jester with laughter (not laughter at others but laughter at the absurdity of life) and at the highest level with the ability to laugh at ourselves.

We are complex individuals made up of many parts that do not always work together. Have you noticed yourself or others saying things like, Part of me wants to take this job while another part isn’t so sure that it ir right. It is part of the human condition that we will experience some radical plurality in our lives: different parts of ourselves, for instance will want different things. The Jester teaches us to stop denying that this is so and learn to enjoy it.

I think of the Jester as the force or energy that ultimately balances all of the archetypes and helps us achieve inner harmoney. Although the Jester is certainly not synonymous with the shadow, a most important activation of the Jester is the one that allows us to see our own shadow, or exiled parts, and to integrate previously unknown parts of our personalities. The Jester allows us to express all of the parts of ourselves in the world and achieve yet another form of balance. For that reason I have included the shadow in this section on the Jester.

Carl Jung considered the shadow one of the major archetypes in the personal unconscious. We need to be aware of the presence of the shadow sides of both coach and client. The shadow is made up of the parts of ourselves that are unknown to us, unconscious and hidden from the light. When we deny the shadow expression and keep it hidden, it takes on a life of its own and comes to us in dreams, or we project it onto others when we criticize their faults.

While most of the work we do in the Return has to do with more linear, behavioral and intellectual considerations, some of the deepest work we face is shing light on the shadow. Tendencies to self-sabotage or make negative comments about the self are often evidence of the shadow. The unconscious mind hears what we say and think to ourselves, and negative selftalk becomes the self fulfillin prophecy we spoke of earlier.

The Shadow Ruler

As coaches we catch a glimpse of the shadow Ruler in ourselves when we find ourselves overcritical, attached to success, putting others down, or not keeping our word. The shadow Ruler may show himself in us when we become rigid and regimented in our coaching and coach by the book or when we strive too hard to control outcomes. In reflection you might see evidence of the shadow Ruler when you find yourself trying to control the outcome of a session and striving to have the client come away from every session with new heights of awareness and eager to make big changes in the coming days.

The Shadow Sage

The shadow Sage may be so caught up in the world of ideas that she is cut off from her own feelings and disdainful of the feelings of others. Also in the grip of the negative or shadow Sage, we limit the number of acceptable ways of perceiving reality.

The Shadow Magician

The shadow Magician uses the knowledge of the human change process to manipulate rather than to guide. When we label, we un-name, when we diagnose we un-name and depersonify through the use of stereotype rather than archetype.

The Shadow Jester

The shadow Jester is undisciplined and may take advantage of other people The extreme shadow Jester is a scroundel who seduces and abuses. Other aspects of the shadow Jester appear when coaches don’t take clients seriously, when all of life is a joke, and we laugh at others instead of with them. The shadow Jester is very harmful. Shadow Jester coaches will find themselves entering business arrangements with clients, missing appointments and not returning phone calls.

The Ultimate Balancing Act

Shadows are indicative of unbalanced archetypes. To bring the human organism into equilibrium we balance the archetypes. When we operate out of a shadow Ruler, for example, we need to bring other archetypal energies into play to balance his strength. When we find ourselves overbearing and controlling, we need to check out the balance of the Self and see what is missing We can call on more Caregiver to balance the Warrior with nurturing and self-care and thereby evoke a more benevolent Ruler. When the Caregiver finds herself taking too much care of others, she can call on the Warrior to enforce the rules, strengthen the boundaries, and help provide a more stable kingdom.

The know-it-all Sage can activate the Lover with compassion for himself and others and willingness to commit. The over-dreamy and far out Sage can call on the Explorer to provide some more practical facts. The manipulative Magician can balance the Destroyer energy with more creativity and imagination. The foolish Jester can ask her Realist to join with the Dreamer and go in search of the Ruler for more order in her life and work.

Balancing the Ego, the Soul and the Self

The balance of archetypal energies and the dance of Ego, Soul and Self are examples of a different way to htink about a physiology of the human condition. The archetypes constitute what can be thought of as an anatomy of the psyche. The interaction of the archetypes and the dance of Ego, Soul and Self are a way to think about the process by which the archetypes interact to achieve psychic homeostasis.

Many of us blindly follow the call of only one archetype or stay stuck in a stage we might have outgrown. Guides and clients alike are often caught in archetypal trances.

As you can see, the hero’s journey never really comes to an end. There are always transitions, new horizons, and new challenges to meet – if we choose to meet them. I have presented a way to think about the completion of essential human developmental tasks by calling on and balancing our inherent inner archetypal resources to accomplish each of these tasks, live a fruitful life, and make a contribution to society. Living from a core of values is living in integrity.

To achieve this balance we must constantly be aware that balance is a conscious act that requires attention and intention; balance and harmony do not happen when we don’t play our parts. Think of a juggler balancing many balls in the air at one time. When the juggler is distracted, all the balls come crashing to earth. Each of us is the juggler in our own lives, and we juggle many balls in many systems.

Nonetheless, even though the juggler acts alone before he got to the place where he now performs he got help. None of us do things all by ourselves. We are all a part of larger systems that have produced us and sustained us, and we are components of systems that produce and sustain others. In the Return from the journey we play our individual parts to the best of our ability, always mindful that it is just one part. At the same time we are also mindful that we are very fortunate to have the opportunity to take the journey. Some in the world must spend so much in the struggle to survive that the idea of taking the hero’s journey is incomprehensible. We, the fortunate ones, have an obligation to be generous with our gifts, to use them and share them with others.

We have been given treasures of enormous value, and most of us meet few obstacles except those we allow to exist within us.

At the end of the day, what is your story about the treasures entrusted to you? What will you do now that know it is your responsibility? Where will you start?

Balancing the ego archetypes and reparing for the journey

The questions and exercises that follow are a compilation of exercises.

A travel journal and a timeline

If you choose to record these exercises, you will have a record of a very personal map of the journey that you can refer to and add to as your journey continues. I recommend that you select a loose-leaf notebook in which to keep the records of your responses to the exercises. You can also record the observations and conclusions you draw from these responses. Divide your notebook into sections for each archetype and element of the journey with headings such as Call/Fall, Dragons, Calling, Purpose, Ego, Soul and Self. In addition, space is provided in each workbook for you to make notes as you go along.

Where have you come from?

The first section of your notebook can contain a simple timeline. On the left half of the timeline, record the significant events of your adult life so far. We don’t want to dwell on the past, but we do want to learn from it. Before we embark on a new journey it is important to know where we have been. Some roads don’t need to be traveled more than once, but others can be enjoyed over and over again.

Once you have found yourself, however, you will want to decide on a destination, so leave room on the right half of the line for events to come. Determine how long you think you might live. Place that date toward the right side of the line, but leave room after it for goals that go beyond your life span Right now just fill in the events leading up to today.

What story are you living now?

Before continuing with your timeline take the What Story Are You Living Now? questionnaire. With the results in hand you will have a graphic representation of where you are in terms of archetypal awareness at this point in yourl ife.

Where do you want to go and what do you want to do when you get there?

After you have reached your present age on the timeline, extend the line into the future for as many years as you expect to live. Place on the line your goals for the next five, ten, fifteen and twenty years. At this point pencil in yor goals. Also take some time to list things about yourself and the way that you have lived your life that you hope will exceed your life span. We will return to this again during the self-coaching process.

Exercises for the ego archetypes

We call on the Ego archetypes through movement and experience, tuning in to all of our senses to activate these energies. We feel these archetypes in our bodies and can awaken them by assuming certain facial expressions and bodily positions. In the following exercises, hold each of the following positions until you experience the archetype.

First, find a quiet place and take several minutes to allow yourself to call forth each of the following archetypes. Savor the experience of each archetype as you work through each exercise. Then answer the questions in writing in your own personal journey log. These responses are for you alone, or to share with your coach or guide. Later you may want to share these with others, but I suggest that you hold off until you have taken the journey and returned.

Calling on the Dreamer

We experience the Dreamer when we feel loved and het world seems a safe place. Open your eyes wide, throw back your arms, and bask in the good warm light of the morning sun or the imagined smile of a loved one. Think of a time when someone’s eyes lit up each time you entered the room and remember how it felt to experience warmth, love, safety, and trust. If you have never experienced this with another person, recall the complete acceptance and love of a mother.

When you have fully engaged and experienced the Dreamer, ask the archetype to werite you a letter to let you know what she wants or needs from you, or what she can do for you. Write the letter in your notebook

Notice your response to your Dreamer. Were you surprised or did you expect the response you received? Write your responses in your notebook.

Calling on the Realist

We experience the unbalanced Realist when the world is a hostile place. Slump in a chair with shoulders hunched study the floor as if you were memorizing the pattern on the rug. Cringe. Imagine what it would be like if no one ever noticed when you entered the room or if you feared at all times for your safety. Try to be invisible. Stay in this position until you feel it throughout your body. Now write yourself a letter from the Realist.

Notice your response to the Realist. Does she call forth the Caregiver or the Warrior in you? Is it all right for you to have these feelings and not do anything with them? Write your responses in your notebook.

Calling on the Caregiver

We experience the Caregiver when we nurture ourselves. Embrace yourself and gently rode back and forth. Feel the warmth and acceptance of sheltering arms. Again stay in this position until you can feel what it is like to be taken care of but not smothered. You are in charge of wrapping sheltering arms around yourself and of taking them away when you no longer need them. Once you have fully experienced the Caregiver archetype, call on it to write another letter.

What was your response to the Caregiver? Whatever it was, it was your response. There are no wrong responses. Write your responses in your notebook.

Calling on the Warrior

To experience the Warrior, stand tall. Hold your arms outstreched in front of you parallel to the floor with palms facing outward. Say ‘no’ in a firm voice. Feel your sense of authority throughout your body and in your voice. Now, assume the same position and say ‘yes’ in a firm voice. In this instance you are saying yes to the self, an essential component of the hero’s journey. Once you have fully cared for the Warrior, write another letter.

What were your responses to your Warrior? Write your responses in your notebook.

Other Ego Exercises

In addition to these exercises, you can take many everyday actions to bring the needed archetype into your awareness. To evoke the Warrior, you can change your posture (think how differently you can assert yourself when you are sitting or standing tall). You can manage your time set your limits by telling others what you will and won’t do and differentiate between negotiable situations and arguments. You can evoke the Caregiver by making a tape of soothing self-talk listerning to music or poetry that reassures you, remembering times when you coped well with difficult situations, and consciously caring for yourself by eating properly, exercising or getting enough sleep.

Awakening and balancing the archetypes is an intentional act. Think of five other things you can do to awaken your Caregiver and Warrior. Write them down.

Look back over each of the letters you wrote from the archetypes. Do you see a theme? Think of something that symbolizes each archetype. Use drawings photos or found objects to symbolize the archetypes. Remember to awaken these archetypes we have to take action or deliberately and consciously decide not to take action rather than acting from a default position (unconsciously).

Balancing the ego archetypes

Now that you know how to awaken the archetypes the next step is to learn when to call on the archetypes. Archetypal balance is a matter of knowing which archetype to call on in any given situation. Like riding a bycicle once you get the hang of it balancing the archetypes will become automatic; but at first it needs to be intentional and very conscious. Initially you may be unaware of being out of balance because you have always responded or reacted in a certain way. Begin with some self-observation exercises.

Self-observation

At the end of each day review your interactions with yourself and with others to see whether or not you have balanced your archetypes. Finish the following sentences.

I told myself not to feel angry sad, scared, lonely when…

I allowed myself to feel angry, sad, scared, happy, lonely, confused by….

I allowed someone else to cross my personal boundaries when I ..

I set firm limits and expressed myself clearly when I …

I soothed myself with self-talk and encouragement by …

I upset myself with negative self-talk and self-criticism when I

I asked for help when

I could have asked for help but didn’t hen

I kept myself from asking for help by

I allowed other people to ‘hurt my feelings’ when

Other questions to Ask the Self

Here are some further questions to ask the Self that will help in balancing your archetypes. Reflect on all of these questions. Write about them in your workbook

How do I know when to trust myself? What is an example of trusting or not trusting myself? What happens to me when I don’t trust myself?

Balancing the Soul archetypes and continuing the journey

The reason we don’t take the journey early in life is that we are not yet prepared.

We still examine everything we learn in the light of how others will react to it. We cannot take the journey in a state of dependency. We can be in the world and take the journey at the same time, but we must do deep Soul work separate from our relationships with others

Start a new section of your travel journal for the Soul archetypes beginning with the Explorer. IN this section, in addition to a section on each of the Soul archetypes with the answers to the exercises below, you might want to include your dream journal.

On the Soul journey we write, draw, dream and give voice to our desires. One writing exercise i like is called clustering or flow writing: a non-linear writing process that opens the pathway to the unconscious.

The Explorer

What do I want? What am I looking for in my life?

Give yourself time to notice your reaction to that question. Stay with any uncertainty and confusion that arises. Many people are afraid to want things they cannot have. At least in this exercise allow yourself to name your desires

Ask the following questions of yourself gently. As you build momentum you can allow your fantasies to soar. Remember times when you felt satisfied or curious, or content, and allow yourself to be fully present with all of the sensations and images that clothe your desires. Repeat each question until you have exhausted your answers; for example I like…. Another thing I like is….. Don’t edit or critique your answers. Answer each question with the first word that pops up into your head.

I like

I feel satisfied when

I fully enjoy

I want to do more

I am happy when I

I feel fulfilled when I

I feel curious about

If I could change anything in my life I would change

In my wildest fantasies I have always wanted to

Repeat each question at least five times with five different answers

Calls and Callings

If you already have a calling, ask yourself where and how you became aware of your calling. Wander around inside yourself and listen for the strength and intensity of the calling. Breathe into the calling. Are the voices calling to you now different from the ones who called five years ago?

If you don’t have a calling are there calls you haven’t answered yet? Think back to your childhood and recall the passions you had as a child. What were your enthusiasms and interests? Write about yourself in the third person.

Finding your Gifts, Talents and Passions

To begin to explore your gifts, talents, and passions think about or write about the following in your travel journal. Picture the people you envy and admire. Picture what it is that you admire about these people, the work they do, or the pursuits they follow.

Do you have recurring dreams? What might they signify for you?

Are there songs or song lyrics that you can’t get out of your head?

Where in your life is there friction and discord? Where you do not walk your talk?

What sort of activities are you drawn to? What do you do well? what are you fascinated by? What are you willing to do over and over again until you get it right? What stories hold your attention? What was your call to your profession? (was this a genuine call or were you lured into it for other reasons) If you had it to do all over again, what career would you choose? What calls to you now? What part of your job do you look forward to each day? What do you want in your life that is not there now?

What are you looking for in your career and your life? Do you seek security, excitement or new knowledge and information? Is yours a spiritual quest – a need to find meaning in your life? Take a few minutes to sit quietly and focus on your breathing. Then imagine that you are working in a job that you love or are absorbed in an activity where you completely lose track of time. What do you see yourself doing? What it it about the job or the activity that is satisfying to you? Write a few sentences describing what you found that you liked about the work. When you spend enough time with this exercise you will often find that you don’t like certain aspects of your job and do like others. Tease out the elements of the job that are satisfying to you and see if you can apply them to something else.

What is it that you want more of in your life? Sometimes the Explorer comes forth when we list the things we like or when we imagine ourselves as Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music listing our favorite things. If you were to sing of your favourite things what would they be.

When you have finished these exercises read them over as if you were reading about another person. How would you describe this person? Write a summary letter to yourself from your Explorer that describes you in the following way:

You are a person who likes

You seek an environment that is

You have always wanted to

You dream about

You know that you must take a journey to

The Rebel

We call on the Rebel through ritual such as acting out the slaying of the dragons and shining light on the shadow. Cutting out the clutter can be a ritual for the symbolic death or destruction of something that can make room for something new to be born.

Not everyone finds clutter draining but if you do, find an area of clutter or an energy drainer in your life. What does it symbolize to you? If this task were accomplished or finished what would that mean to you? Unclutter a small area. Does anything change in your attitude?

Dragons

Now, notice times when you hear the voice of your mother, your father, an overbearing and opiniated boss, a critical teacher or a sarcastic friend speaking inside your head. Simply notice and breathe. Identify the voices. Who is speaking? What are they saying? Identify your own voice and speak the truth out loud or in writing. When other voices are loud and clear, they drown out the voices of the Soul

How do you get in your own way? How do you stop yourself from being your best? Describe a time when you sabotaged yourself. Did you ever decide not to sign up for a course because you feared that people would think you were silly for taking a course in flower arranging or taking singins lessons. My guess is that it wasn’t other people but the internal dragon that placed the boulder in your path. How have you let the dragon drive your bus.

Hold a conversation with your dragon and ask it what it wants of you. Dragon dialogues can be held in self-guided imagery or in writing. Discover what happens when you thank the dragon for the help that it gave in the past and then assign it a new task. Next, see what happens when you choose to ignore it and pay attention to something else. Which method works better for you?

Rebel and Letting Go

Think of the many ways that you can use the Rebel to let go of old resentments of outmoded beliefs, or the idea that we can know it all or do all things perfectly.

Imagine how it will be when you learn to accept and embrace change as a natural part of life and eliminate the things that don’t support your life and your journey?

Name some people, places, things and attitudes that you need to let go of. Note, I said ‘let go of’ This doesn’t necessarily mean cutting off all contact, but simply letting go emotionally and chaning the nature of the contact.

Answer these sentence stems:

I need to let go of

If I let go of that I would be

One of the ways I might let go would be to

I prevent myself from letting go by

When we neglect the Rebel, its shadow forms overpower us. Are there instances where you are overly critical of others who don’t share your views? Do you make sarcastic and cutting comments about others to make yourself feel superior? Do you engage in self destructive behaviors like overeating drinking, smoking listening to cruel and useless self talk? Are you able to acknowledge the destructive forces in yourself and your clients? Are you willing to slay the internalized voices of other’s authority?

Rebel and Death

How do you think about your own mortality? If you work as a coach or a guide, how do you help others to think about mortality and acknowledge that all phases of our lives have beginnings and endings? The Rebel also allows us to cut our losses and leave people and situations that aren’t good for us and helps coaches to say goodbye to our clients when the time comes. The Rebel helps us eliminate impossible dreams to create the space for the truly possible. What impossible dreams do you need to release? What needs to be cut off or pruned from the garden of your soul so that other things can bloom?

The Lover

In some ways these exercises are similar to those for the Explorer and the call, because we are trying to identify ourselves as individuals and, having stripped away the cardboard, now approach our essence.

Ask yourself what ‘turns you on’. Passions are not passive. You don’t identify your passions by watching TV or standing in front of the refrigerator asking yourself what you want to eat.

When are you most fulfilled? What part of your life or work makes you feel most alive? What activities absorb you so much that time stands still when you are doing them? What moves you and inspires you and evokes your passions?

What do you love? What brings tears to your eyes? What music moves you? Do you ever talk back to the TV set? What fires you up? What would inspire you to speak publicly in defense of or against an idea or a cause?

Make a list of your passions. Illustrate this with drawings or pictures cut out from magazines.

Forgiveness Exercise

Think of a person you need to forgive. Imagine what it would take for you to do this. Take the time to talk to yourself or to write out a scenario in which you forgive this person in your heart. Do you need to do this in person? What would you gain by that?

Now, think of something you have done that you regret and need to forgive yourself for. Go through the process in your mind and write it out. How will you make amends.? What will you do differently in the future? HOw does it feel to have forgiven yourself?

Next think of someone whose forgiveness you must ask. Create a script for how you want to go about this and decide whether or not you will ask for this forgiveness in person. Remember we can forgive or ask forgiveness of people who are no longer alive because we have been holding these conversations in our minds whether the person is alive or dead

Finally, write yourself a love letter from your Lover archetype in which you describe all of your passions, compassions and deep interests. In the letter, name the ways in which you already express and live these passions. Then suggest ways you will live more from your essence in the future.

The Creator

Write, paint, or draw your future. Write a purpose statement that combines your gifts and your passions. Keep the picture, symbol or words of this statement on your desk or on your wall. Rehearse your purpose statement out loud and then dare to speak it to another person. Honor the voice of your soul. By determining and naming what you want and saying it out loud or writing it down, you make it more difficult to settle for lesser goals. You begin to participate in life instead of being a spectator or a commentator.

Purpose

We live ‘on purpose’ by continuing to ask ourselves the essential questions: Why do I get up in the morning? Who am I? What am I meant to be doing? After my basic needs are met, what else do i need in my life? Ask yourself each of the following questions:

In what ways do I allow the Creator to express itself in my life?

What is my scenario for my future professional life?

How do I want my life to be in the future?

Where will I be living, who else will be there, and what will I be doing?

In what area of my life have I made creative choices?

What are my gifts? How does my creativity express itself in my life?

Bringing your dreams into your awareness helps you to be open to possibility and less susceptible to self-sabotage. If you want success and recognition in the field, admit this to yourself at the outset. If you want to be a leader, acknowledge it. If you want to build a private practice, let yourself know what kind of clients you want to work with. If you want to be a speaker, lead workshops use creative materials in your coaching give form to your creations.

Finally, if you enjoy artwork, create a picture or collage of your soul: illustrate your gifts, passions, calling and your purpose.

Now return to your lifeline, fill in some of your goals for the future and desribe the legacy you would like to leave.

Balancing the archetypes of the return

The return is where we put it all together. Begin by reviewing your lifeline and filling in or revising any goals that you have for the future. As you work with each of these archetypes, coordinate your action plan with your timeline to help you achieve your goals.

The Ruler archetype

In this exercise you will consider your Ruler archetype. Look at your life as if you were the monarch of a small kingdom. As you answer the exercise questions consider your role as the monarch. Are you a benevolent despot or a tyrant.? Is your treasury in good shape? Do you need to improve your revenue stream or cut down on expenses? Consider the infrastructure of your kingdom. Is your house in order? Are you doing your part in seeing that the citizen’s rights are not violated? Are you taking too much or too little responsibility for the well-being of others in your realm?

Ask yourself:

What is my personal kingdom, and what are my responsibilities to myself?

What is my responsibility to others?

Illustrate or write your role description with respect to your family, primary relationship work or community

Draw a picture of your family as it is now? Who is closest to you? Who is farthest away?

Draw a picture of how you would like it to be. List the steps you have to take to bring the second picture to life.

If you are a coach, answer the following

In what way are you responsible fo rthe outcome of the coaching process?

What kinds of clients and what kinds of problems are you qualified and prepared to consider?

List three situations you consider to be ‘uncoachable’ and describe what you do when you recognize an ‘uncoachable ‘ situation or client?

What are you willing to share with the coaching community? What are you going to do about this?

Give examples of situations in which your have found it difficult to maintain your professional boundaries? What are you going to do about this?

In addition to your personal and professional kingdom, what do you owe to larger community and to society. Are you involved or interested in teaching professional organisations. What are you going to do about this?

The following questions were written with the coach in mind, but they can apply to anyone. There are no right answers, only a hope that each question may lead you to more and more questions and suggest actons you can take to balance your Ego archetypes.

Think of a way to make a graphic representation of your relationship to your work as if it were the best it could possibly be. What does it look like now? How would you like it to look? What are some of the steps you can take to get from here to there?

How do you set limits and boundaries and make clear contracts with clients about the goals of coaching the expectations of the client and the expectations you have for yourself. Give examples.

Ask yourself: How do I set these limits in my personal life? What would my primary relationship look like if I were clear about my expectations and my willingness to participate? What is it that makes it harder for me to set limits in one sphere than another?

The Sage Archetypes

In this exercise you will consider your Sage archetype. The Sage asks, What more do I need to learn and how will I learn it? How can I use the wisdom I have accumulated? In the Return we harvest the best of our experiences and find ways to make new mistakes rather than make the same one over and over again.

The adult learning agenda

What do I need to unlearn?

What new information do I need?

How do I increase my personal competence?

What new technical skills do I need?

How can I stay anchored in my values?

Where are my best learning environments?

Who are my real teachers and mentors?

In addition, answer the following questions

What areas in your field do you need or want to learn more about?

If you could study under any teachers (living or dead) or go to any training institute, where and with whom would you study? What are you going to do about this?

Make a list of all the ways you can keep your Sage alive in your life. What practices do you do to keep your mind and your passions alive? Do you need to learn additional practices to help you keep centered? What are you going to do about this?

List your values. Give examples of decisions you have made in line with your values. Looking over your lifeline, what values show up as important time after time?

The Magician Archetype

In these exercises you will consider your Magician archetype. The Magician is an archetype of change. To begin, consider the answers to the following questions. What do you need to change in yourself, your personal life and your profession? How do you believe change happens? Can people change? How does change come about? What is the coach’s role in the change process? What can you change? Now continue with the following exercises.

Make a list of all the things you can change in your life and your environment. List the actions you will take to make those changes.

Make a list of the things you can’t change.

Many people are faced with life-threatening illnesses. They are powerless to change the fact of their illness. but they can change their perspective and perhaps even change their lives so that they live each day to the fullest and make the best of what they have. For each situation you can’t change is there any one part of it that is in your power to change?

Observation exercises

Consider the following questions and suggestions. Set aside some quiet time to review the questions and seriously consider the answers. How do you change your perspective on your desired goals? Do you have a procedure for chaing your perspective? Look again at your lifeline. Remember how things looked to you ten years ago? How have you changed perspective since then? Sit on the floor and look at the world from the perspective of a three year old. How different is that from the way you see things now? Come people continue to view life from a child’s perspective and never take their proper place in the scheme of things. Are there areas in your life where you still see things from a child’s perspective? Are there places where this would be a positive thing? Where might it put you at a disadvantage?

For the next few days, give your attention to the following.

Notice how many times in a day you try to change others. What do you want to do about this?

Notice the places in your life where you resist change. Ask yourself. How do I embrace endless change rather than seeing it as something to be resisted?

Ask yourself what you believe about change, the change process, and the role of the coach in helping people to change? What might you have to change about yourself if you take on a different role as a coach and journey guide?

Look at each of your goals for the next phase of your life. List the changes you have to make to attain each goal.

The Jester archetype

In this exercise you will consider your Jester archeetype. Write answers to the following questions. Or if you prefer, set aside some quiet time to review the questions and seriously consider the answers.

What part of your work do you enjoy doing?

How might you bring more joy into your work and life?

Are there areas in your work where you won’t allow the Jester to enter?

Are there areas where you cannot, or should not, ‘tell it like it is?’

How might you keep your fresh coaching perspective, your ability to see that the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes?

How do you keep yourself from taking yourself too seriously?

SHADOW EXERCISE

Although we usually think of the shadow as dark and containing material we regard as undesirable and negative, the shadow can have a positive part as well. That is, you may be keeping some of your positive thoughts, qualities, and attributes out of your awareness. Think back on the section on callings where I spoke of positive projection. Think of the coaches you admire. What is it about them that you would like to emulate? Here is a positive part of the shadow. Often those very qualities you so admire are hidden within you waiting to be awakened.

Then think of people you don’t like Can you find within yourself elements of that shadow as well? All off the charactreistics of others are available to you. bring them into the light. Add them to the mix. You are capable of having bad intentions and good intentions. You are capable of an extremely wide array of behaviors. When yo admit this about yourself instead of keeping it a secret from yourself, you can be free to be completely present with others with no fear of their judgment and no need to judge them.

Go back and look at your lifeline. Have you filled in your goals for the time from now to the end of your life? Have you decided how you want to be remembered? Have you harvested the past and learned all the lessons you need? Write a will leaving all of your gifts and treasure to those who will live on after you. Then continue to enjoy these treasures yourself!